An Unheard Voice

I don’t know how to deal with the feeling of being unwanted… It is painful, very hurting. Mars the self respect of a person & the insult of being treated so low eats into you. The therapists say be with loved ones, read books, watch something nice, socialise… I think what they don’t understand is that it’s really not that helpful. Every good thing that you see around at such times only adds to your agony, because you are so aware that you don’t have that good thing that the therapies push us into, with good intentions of course.

A self sufficient human who’s capable of earning his / her livelihood, carry himself / herself well in society, have a sane mind & sense of what’s right and wrong is more susceptible to depression when meted out wrong behaviour over a period of time. It is not easy to survive healthily in an atmosphere where so much negativity & deception is predominant. You feel alone, helpless, miserable, sad and… hopeless after trying repeatedly to adjust and make people around understand you are not what they think, you don’t deserve such low treatment… But, all in vain when all you have is stubborn, selfish & blindly headstrong people.

I question the existence of good, presence of god, justice of karma, existence of conscience, understanding of love, consideration of kindness, value of honesty…

I realise hope is just an emotion. A frequency of positive thoughts that you try to send out to the universe thinking the natural law of attraction will reverberate & work things out.

The funny thing is you wouldn’t even know how I feel inside, you can’t see the scars, wounds on the aura of a human being… 🙂 I am strong yes, but not so much to hide my tears when I think of my failed efforts, lost dignity, and the culprit of all emotions… thrashed hopes.

Blissful vibes!
The distressed heart


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dbgb1986
    Nov 07, 2014 @ 05:05:29

    First of all, you are not alone. Secondly, things will get better. I know it sounds impossible, for days turn into weeks turn into months, and so long as you make tiny steps — and survive to live — each day, then by the end of next year, you will be a totally different person with greater self confidence and many more friends.

    Liked by 1 person


  2. Nithya
    Oct 27, 2014 @ 18:36:32

    Agree with your emotions.. Indian society is too harsh on girls. The way it sees men and women is drastically the opposite. A girl is expected to change in every way after marriage. An independent girl who can handle things and opposes anything is called arrogant. There are lucky few who escape this. And most choose to leave their identity and accept things. But the ones who are struck in between are the one’s who are true to their heart. Ones who strictly go by heart and not the mind are the ones who are deeply affected. Most people have it easy, while getting out of an emotional depression is so hard for some. Sometimes it is easy for a third person to say things. But the fact is we do know we are strong enough to get back. We do try our best to get back to normal. But at times, the fact is that somewhere deep inside the heart, the pain still remains. That is something others can never understand. Because however strong we make ourselves feel, get back to normal and make it seem to everyone that we are fine, at the end of the day the feeling of being lonely will hurt. Just that it becomes a routine after sometime. To be frank, today’s world is not the one that understands true love. That’s my strong opinion. People are obsessed with fakeness in everything. So, people who can show fake emotions and be nice and compromise are considered good. While the ones who are true, straight forward are considered bad. But, hard truth is despite knowing all this, it is hard to change. So, we only hope that good things will happen and the pain will vanish some day. And life just goes on like that..

    Liked by 1 person


    • Torque Earnest
      Oct 27, 2014 @ 19:15:03

      My Nithya 🙂 Welcome back! How are you? After reading what you shared I feel I hear an echo. My friend Sonal had something so relevant to say on my earlier post . Please do read it.

      And, all I want to say to you is that – It is a matter of pride for women who stand their ground when it comes to not tolerating what’s wrong, just like it is commendable of women who sacrifice their identity to blend in ‘because’ they do it for peace. The former ones just choose the other side of the coin with the conviction of dealing with the repercussions the best way they can. So, whichever side we are I pray from the bottom of my heart that God gives them strength & wisdom and compassion to the men of their lives to value them _/\_



  3. Pranit Kumar
    Oct 22, 2014 @ 00:47:17

    Dear TE,

    We cannot control external : People and Situations..
    But we can definitely control internal : Our reactions to them, which create happiness or sadness.

    We depend on the external for happiness… means our happiness will be dependent on their behavior / situations. If stated harshly, we become their slaves.

    People surrounding us may not be always understanding enough, kind enough or loving enough… But must we always be dependent on them for happiness…?

    Can we not derive happiness by doing things we believe in… by giving a meaning to our living… by doing something because it feels right…

    I know its easier said than done… but may be thats what life tries to teach us through such situations …

    The choice is ours…

    Liked by 1 person


    • Torque Earnest
      Oct 27, 2014 @ 17:05:59

      Hi there Pranit! First & foremost, I thank you for reading & understanding my point in this post 🙂 Secondly, I really appreciate your explanation to my dilemma. What you say is absolutely right irrespective of however lonely you feel being on the path we believe in.



  4. Debasis Pradhan
    Oct 19, 2014 @ 10:29:30

    Agreed and accepted. This is what a human being will always feel in adverse conditions. There are many ways to get out of such situations. Lets explain one of them.
    The very first sentence says “feeling of being unwanted”. A sane mind will always try to feel the emotion behind the treatment; however, if we think, the very first fact is that our feeling is what within us, outer forces has no role or control whatsoever over our feelings. Our feeling will always depend on us and our behaviour depends on others. We always are confused between these two. Confusing…………. Let’s take up an example, a lighter one. You are working, have colleagues around you and of opposite sex as well. There is one guy you are normally seen with on breaks, in discussions, etc. The feeling of friendship is the bond between you both. Now if your other colleagues ask that, do you love him? For few initial set of questions you will always say, NO we are friends. If the question is getting repetitive you will change the way you behave or how you respond or responded to it, the first time. Now, no matter how many times this has been asked, how well this was presented, how specifically it has been said, will you start loving that guy? Unless and until you feel the sensation of love, there will nothing changed between you both.

    Let’s take up another example. Imagine you engaged in a heated discussion and it getting worse, words exchanged and somebody said “YOU DOG”. Stop right here.
    Now looking at the situation we will always behave badly and will reply back the hardest possible way you can.
    However no matter how many times this statement is said, how hard this is presented, how cunningly it has been said, will you really feel that you are a dog. Will you really feel that you don’t talk, you bark. Will you really feel that you don’t walk on two legs, you walk on four legs. Will you really feel that you don’t drink water, you lick it to satisfy your thirst. NO

    Like the fundamental here of being a human will never change, the same way the fundamental is how we feel is always within us. We do not need outer sources to make us feel good, better or best. All we need to do is is to differentiate between how we feel and how we behave. I hope this explains one of the questions you have.

    Liked by 1 person


    • Torque Earnest
      Oct 27, 2014 @ 15:05:02

      Dear Debasis! How wonderfully you explained it… You’re so correct & yet at times the emotions get the better of yourself & you start going into depression by being stuck to the ill words / behaviour meted out to you. Your point of view is the matured & sane way of handling adversities in relationships, be it professional or personal. I want to thank you for your great insight and efforts to write to me here 🙂



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