I don’t know how to deal with the feeling of being unwanted… It is painful, very hurting. Mars the self respect of a person & the insult of being treated so low eats into you. The therapists say be with loved ones, read books, watch something nice, socialise… I think what they don’t understand is that it’s really not that helpful. Every good thing that you see around at such times only adds to your agony, because you are so aware that you don’t have that good thing that the therapies push us into, with good intentions of course.
A self sufficient human who’s capable of earning his / her livelihood, carry himself / herself well in society, have a sane mind & sense of what’s right and wrong is more susceptible to depression when meted out wrong behaviour over a period of time. It is not easy to survive healthily in an atmosphere where so much negativity & deception is predominant. You feel alone, helpless, miserable, sad and… hopeless after trying repeatedly to adjust and make people around understand you are not what they think, you don’t deserve such low treatment… But, all in vain when all you have is stubborn, selfish & blindly headstrong people.
I question the existence of good, presence of god, justice of karma, existence of conscience, understanding of love, consideration of kindness, value of honesty…
I realise hope is just an emotion. A frequency of positive thoughts that you try to send out to the universe thinking the natural law of attraction will reverberate & work things out.
The funny thing is you wouldn’t even know how I feel inside, you can’t see the scars, wounds on the aura of a human being… 🙂 I am strong yes, but not so much to hide my tears when I think of my failed efforts, lost dignity, and the culprit of all emotions… thrashed hopes.
The distressed heart