My Comeback

It’s been some time since I wrote last. I hope I still have that flair to express and write that I thought I used to. It’s been a long and trying journey, these two years that I’ve been away. I totally shut myself off from the world in terms of social media, uninstalled the messaging and media file sharing apps from my phone. I was using the so-called smartest phone (as my friends mockingly call the iPhone I possess) just like a basic feature phone. Secluding myself gave me some space to heal. No one to answer to the usual and casual questions, how are you, what’s up, what’s happening in your life, let’s catch up some time, where have you been, etc. The fact that I can’t give untrue, made up or diplomatic answers, which is very essential at times, made me succumb to the solitude. Loneliness becomes solitude when you are depressed and you still don’t know it.

Few very old associates whom I had happened to meet by chance either while waiting in front of someone’s office or through some common friend and hit the same frequency instantly, got in touch with me as usual, after about a couple of months or so as was the typical way of our association in the past 10 years? Yeah, it’s been that long now when I sit and think about it. They stood the test of time. We hardly exchanged any pleasantries in cell phone messages but occasionally did plan to meet, wished each other on festivals. I remember all those meet-ups distinctly and fondly, especially because there was no agenda. We just wanted to meet.

One such friend always used to keep in touch wherever I went, whatever I did and whatever happened with me or to me in my real life or virtual (yeah, talking about the time when I used to be in the fad group of voicing my opinions and writing provocative, not inflammatory, statements depending on the frame of mind I used to be in on social networking sites). No, that person isn’t a stalker but a genuine acquaintance, and now a friend for life. He keeps extremely busy and yet finds time for his friends and family. An ideal man. I always admired him for his mental strength after being through one of the biggest losses one can ever have. I earnestly hope and pray I become like him one day.

So, talking about friendships… I think today we’re following the American way of friendship. I take this liberty to state this after having long chats with a close neighbour who’s recently returned after a good year of studying with multi-national citizens in the US, an old friend who shifted base to the Gulf after having served in India and then US too, another close colleague-turned-friend who’s now settle the States. Quite sensible and grounded lot. They have interacted with many people from various parts of the world and had varied observations about all of them. And their words commonly resonate with many others who’ve been n to places like Congo, Nigeria, South Africa, Vietnam, the UK, different states of the US, Ireland, and so on. Advantages of working in the IT industry if you may call it so. So, how friendship happens these days here, in the metropolitan cities at least… There are different kinds of friendships, often in form of different groups for different activities you do together. For example, the weekend in US starts on Friday, people leave offices early and go partying or meet friends, go to pubs, etc. Saturday continues in pretty much the same fashion and Sundays are religious days. So, if you happen to meet them elsewhere other than your usual hangout places, they probably won’t show recognition and that’s perfectly normal. Being an Indian, this is unimaginable, for me 😊

(Please note that the views expressed here are solely on the basis of what I’ve heard from my foreign-returned associates. No offence meant to anybody as I am aware there are exceptions always. We have few foreigner family friends who adopted our culture just like one amongst us. They even placed a Ganesha idol on their car deck ‘coz its auspicious and even got His tattoo inspired with the faith in Him.)

Coming back to myself, I’ve changed a lot in the last six years. I can now analyse people better, I know how to protect myself from being vulnerable in situations where unnecessary details need not be divulged to quench people’s curiosity. In fact, the obligation to answer I used to feel earlier when someone used to ask me something, I now tackle it totally differently. I smile, give a courteous answer and ask about them very briefly and excuse myself for taking their leave. Often, it’s not concern that’s making them interested but I revel in the fact that they are and why not let them keep guessing 😉 I have learnt one good thing – the more you are able to hold the element of secrecy, people just can’t rule you out. It does my psyche a lot of good. If not anything, it’s a good esteem booster after going through a bad patch in relationships 😀 (relationships: not just in personal life, professional life plays a big role as we spent most of our day inside the office with various colleagues, people you have to interact with for your sustenance needs, like – the ill-mannered shopkeeper who keeps your preferred milk packets & won’t give you the change, make faces when you pay & request to keep the packets in their storage till you shop for veggies, the pesky neighbour who takes you for granted for being at home every weekend for trusting with their keys & which in turn you need to hand over to their multiple maids coming at different timings, the perpetual complainant of anything & everything that stops working in the apartment…phew!) To hell with them!

Not that am bothered about whether they’re including me anywhere but it gives me the feeling of being in demand and, most importantly, ‘without being a snob’. Being an open book is of no help. It gives people chance to judge without being in our shoes. Besides that, if there’s something I’d fight to avoid, is being a coffee table topic. So, I chose to be off the radar and I think it’s one of the biggest reasons that helped me in the process of my healing.

Will be back soon with some interesting stuff… 😉
Torque Earnest

P. S. To all who liked my posts so far, the readers, the followers, friends, friends of friends & even those whom I don’t know but have inquired about me with different associates in my absence, it’s been very heart warming to hear about it. Thank you so much! _/\_


The Window Sill Syndrome

What does your window sill tell you?

The Window Sill Syndrome.

Save the Tig(er)ess



%d bloggers like this: