An Unheard Voice

I don’t know how to deal with the feeling of being unwanted… It is painful, very hurting. Mars the self respect of a person & the insult of being treated so low eats into you. The therapists say be with loved ones, read books, watch something nice, socialise… I think what they don’t understand is that it’s really not that helpful. Every good thing that you see around at such times only adds to your agony, because you are so aware that you don’t have that good thing that the therapies push us into, with good intentions of course.

A self sufficient human who’s capable of earning his / her livelihood, carry himself / herself well in society, have a sane mind & sense of what’s right and wrong is more susceptible to depression when meted out wrong behaviour over a period of time. It is not easy to survive healthily in an atmosphere where so much negativity & deception is predominant. You feel alone, helpless, miserable, sad and… hopeless after trying repeatedly to adjust and make people around understand you are not what they think, you don’t deserve such low treatment… But, all in vain when all you have is stubborn, selfish & blindly headstrong people.

I question the existence of good, presence of god, justice of karma, existence of conscience, understanding of love, consideration of kindness, value of honesty…

I realise hope is just an emotion. A frequency of positive thoughts that you try to send out to the universe thinking the natural law of attraction will reverberate & work things out.

The funny thing is you wouldn’t even know how I feel inside, you can’t see the scars, wounds on the aura of a human being… ๐Ÿ™‚ I am strong yes, but not so much to hide my tears when I think of my failed efforts, lost dignity, and the culprit of all emotions… thrashed hopes.

Blissful vibes!
The distressed heart

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I am a Bad Girl

I am not a nice woman, only few like me
because I think it’s not necessary to be liked
After all, how does it matter if people like you or not?

I am mysterious, not easily approachable
People are wary and fear coming near
They think I am hard to get, but I feel
how does it matter even if I am an easy target?

I am branded as a girl with her head high
Can’t mess with her, she has her temper high!
Well, would you respect me more and guarantee you would not cross the line?
I am not a nice girl because I am bothered to keep my image fine

I am not casual, take things seriously – thus I stay aloof
You misunderstand this and tag me haughty – are you not a fool!
You don’t invite me to parties coz you know I don’t gossip
Well, isn’t that what you thrive on! You social goon.

You are anyway going to use your efforts
to come near and discover my methods
I have a way with words they say, but
does it even matter to me that I should care?

Don’t poke me, I like to mind my own business
Dare you touch, I’ll be no less than a tigress
Yes, wounded I am coz I trusted before…
Now am alone and much better off therefore

I am born a girl and brought up as a lady
I can become a man and fend too, if need be
I do have a heart inside my tough wall
No one understands and that’s why I fall

Why come near me when you know I am bad?
Deep down you know you want to raise your own bar…
Then why after knowing me enough you leave a scar?!

I don’t want to be left alone but neither can I seek attention…
I have my pride & a fair share of ego with apprehension
What if you turn back & call me a beggar?
What if you say, just go back & call me never?

I am a bad woman coz I respect myself
I have a fragile heart & I protect it by all self
Sad thing is that you’ve made your mind…
That I am a bad woman & not your kind…

Moving on; is it time?

I lie in my room & shut the door
Coz in solitude it gives me some recourse
Shut windows & drawn curtains
Allow my decision to ascertain

Whoever said you shouldn’t tolerate wrong probably never bargained being alone
I try to contemplate if I made a decision in hurry, but is there a time to decide where the draw the line?

Am free! in my room & don’t have a single worry, is that not enough when no one really cared when I served them in hurry!?
Peace is what I have bargained, not being happy
You didn’t expect this deal, did you, when you were being snappy?

What’s lost is lost only to get another one,
But what goes, goes for ever; unlike they think ‘for returning some time, to someone’
Life would be much sweeter had it been a fairytale, really…
But hey! Haven’t we learnt our lessons already…?

A mind free of worries is sure difficult to incorporate, but its not rocket science to try it for yourself when there’s nothing you can relate…

Not always that necessary to live a life on own terms I bet, but it’s not even worth it spending in regret
We don’t live till eternity so, how about having a little dignity instead of turning it into an ugly hate story?

A Blind Woman Pleads to Jealous People

A sad blindfolded woman pleading jealous people not to hurt

Art courtesy: Erik Brede

โ€‹Don’t call me names, just coz you know my strengths
I am a human with a heart that I fiercely guard, coz I know your foul games

I fight for dignity, but sometimes fall short of strength
You have no right to abuse me, coz u think weak people don’t deserve the same

I come back thinking each time I won’t be hit again, yet very painfully it happens again
Wish people knew I was blind in love & not with my so called strength

A smile is the cost I pay to avoid questions coming my way,
So let me be coz you would never know the grief I am hiding away…

Knowing when to Walk away

Brace yourself & accept the hard fact when you know you are in an abusive relationship. Protect yourself because only you alone can do that.

Brace yourself & accept the hard fact when you are in an abusive relationship.

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