An Unheard Voice

I don’t know how to deal with the feeling of being unwanted… It is painful, very hurting. Mars the self respect of a person & the insult of being treated so low eats into you. The therapists say be with loved ones, read books, watch something nice, socialise… I think what they don’t understand is that it’s really not that helpful. Every good thing that you see around at such times only adds to your agony, because you are so aware that you don’t have that good thing that the therapies push us into, with good intentions of course.

A self sufficient human who’s capable of earning his / her livelihood, carry himself / herself well in society, have a sane mind & sense of what’s right and wrong is more susceptible to depression when meted out wrong behaviour over a period of time. It is not easy to survive healthily in an atmosphere where so much negativity & deception is predominant. You feel alone, helpless, miserable, sad and… hopeless after trying repeatedly to adjust and make people around understand you are not what they think, you don’t deserve such low treatment… But, all in vain when all you have is stubborn, selfish & blindly headstrong people.

I question the existence of good, presence of god, justice of karma, existence of conscience, understanding of love, consideration of kindness, value of honesty…

I realise hope is just an emotion. A frequency of positive thoughts that you try to send out to the universe thinking the natural law of attraction will reverberate & work things out.

The funny thing is you wouldn’t even know how I feel inside, you can’t see the scars, wounds on the aura of a human being… 🙂 I am strong yes, but not so much to hide my tears when I think of my failed efforts, lost dignity, and the culprit of all emotions… thrashed hopes.

Blissful vibes!
The distressed heart

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Moving on; is it time?

I lie in my room & shut the door
Coz in solitude it gives me some recourse
Shut windows & drawn curtains
Allow my decision to ascertain

Whoever said you shouldn’t tolerate wrong probably never bargained being alone
I try to contemplate if I made a decision in hurry, but is there a time to decide where the draw the line?

Am free! in my room & don’t have a single worry, is that not enough when no one really cared when I served them in hurry!?
Peace is what I have bargained, not being happy
You didn’t expect this deal, did you, when you were being snappy?

What’s lost is lost only to get another one,
But what goes, goes for ever; unlike they think ‘for returning some time, to someone’
Life would be much sweeter had it been a fairytale, really…
But hey! Haven’t we learnt our lessons already…?

A mind free of worries is sure difficult to incorporate, but its not rocket science to try it for yourself when there’s nothing you can relate…

Not always that necessary to live a life on own terms I bet, but it’s not even worth it spending in regret
We don’t live till eternity so, how about having a little dignity instead of turning it into an ugly hate story?

A Blind Woman Pleads to Jealous People

A sad blindfolded woman pleading jealous people not to hurt

Art courtesy: Erik Brede

​Don’t call me names, just coz you know my strengths
I am a human with a heart that I fiercely guard, coz I know your foul games

I fight for dignity, but sometimes fall short of strength
You have no right to abuse me, coz u think weak people don’t deserve the same

I come back thinking each time I won’t be hit again, yet very painfully it happens again
Wish people knew I was blind in love & not with my so called strength

A smile is the cost I pay to avoid questions coming my way,
So let me be coz you would never know the grief I am hiding away…

Why is Trusting God so Difficult At Times?

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God always has better plans & things to give you. Whatever happens, happens for a reason & supposedly for our good. Have faith.

Some trying times simply makes us lose faith in Him. We question & feel sad that God’s not paying attention to us but that’s when we need to hold on to that faith real strong & see miracles happen.

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. He takes note of everything & you will get your due. Be truthful & honourable to your conscience. Do no wrong. Tolerate no wrongdoings. Swimming against the tide is not easy & not everyone is capable of doing it. If you are, consider yourself a warrior & let not your valour bow down before anyone.

Bless you!

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How a Guilty Conscience Works?

We have all felt guilty of something or the other in life, be it for deliberately missing someone’s call, not answering the door bell on a holiday afternoon, lying to your friend, not lending your favourite book to your neighbour, cheating {well, just slightly ;)} on your girlfriend or boyfriend.

A Guilty Conscience Needs No Accuser

Different Ways of Dealing

What amuses me the most is the way each one of us handle the guilt feeling. Some put on an artificial mask of self respect (kindly read ego), some deal with it by lying to one’s own self that they did not do anything wrong or some adopt a lenient attitude towards the self and forgive themselves.

Some find recourse in confiding to people not remotely concerned with the event or the courageous ones confide to whom they have directly or indirectly harmed and ask for forgiveness.

Repercussions & Realisation

There are few people who feel responsible for their acts even if they did something unwarranted as a result of instigation of an external stimuli. Such people deserve respect and by all means a second chance, after all, it is only the realisation that counts after having gone astray.

Realisation of Guilt
As for others, the more tough-nut kinds, the realisation of the guilt starts eating into you only when you face the adverse or to put it lightly, uncomfortable situations and the situation looks at you in the face.

Reasons of Committing

Many a times it is sheer negligence or taking someone for granted that we take the liberty of crossing the fine line and end up feeling guilty of what we should not have done or should have done when there was still time. It does not take much actually to resist the temptation. Let’s have a look what are the other common factors that lead us to feeling guilty of our act or non act.

  • Sometimes it is just a freak slip of morality
  • Dire need, conducive environments
  • Easy availability and the guarantee of confidentiality

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