Looking for my Worth on the Highway

Trakiya highway in Bulgaria
Sitting at the window sill overlooking the NH4 highway… There’s a road that joins the two important cities. I wonder if there’s any path that joins two hearts. Two stranded hearts one of which is sinking with no hope and the other misguided with… It is a difficult phase that tears you apart when you are helpless and know there’s nothing to look forward to. The failure of a pure love and a trust that comes with a bond. Depression and nothing else becomes your companion.

The feeling of morose is so overwhelming that you turn blind towards your achievements and forget the worth you have. No amount of consoling words help you when someone repeatedly betrays your trust and punishes you for sins you don’t even know you have committed. The achievements and accolades of years fade in front of the grief of being abandoned. I like my solitude but feel lonely. I followed my principles and many a times bent too to save the disaster. Isn’t it heart wrenching when people don’t understand the difference between ego and self respect?

The number of males is more in my country than females. I also know that there fewer men who stand up for themselves if not for the right. I wish I too had a support when injustice had captured me in those four walls. I kept waiting for him to come and there wasn’t even a phone call. I kept my faith. A firm belief that he hadn’t earned. May be that’s where I was wrong but am happy I fulfilled my part of the promise. I never went out of communication. I tried and kept trying but as they say poison is stronger than any emotional string… The path between the two hearts were broken and poisoned beyond measure.

The highway is always busy but the two ends remain the same. The two cities that it connects are there to complete the journey. But I am lost and wish no one loses their path that connects their heart to that one person for whom you can sacrifice anything. Let me get up and find my worth. It has lost somewhere on the highway. An accident that cannot repair the damage it caused.


Prefer to be a Loner than Pleaser

I place my dignity & principles above my relationships. It’s definitely not easy, but if my head is held high, I can give myself to anything in this world. At any cost & by all means.

You should stand by what you believe in. And, that calls for some character.

~ Torque Earnest

Being Strong is a Decision

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.

~ Bob Marley

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” ~ Bob Marley

Coming Out of Hibernation

Hi Everyone! _/\_ (Namaste!)

Finally made an effort of coming out of the unintended hibernation & it’s nice to see the followers’ count the same, oh wait! it’s increased! 🙂 Thank you all for such patience & giving me this happiness.

In the coming days I would like to write about friendships & adventures during college time. Different ambitions and paths youngsters want to get into. I, for one have seen peers from different places and walks of life from India as well as abroad. Different walks of life for me means various kinds of mentality, thinking and analysing process, prejudices, acceptability of people, profession, subjects, social norms, so on and so forth.

It’s interesting to be surrounded by people of variety. It gives us freedom to choose who to hang out with, whom to follow, choose a friend, where to go to seek acceptability – of thoughts, of your clothing, of your principles, beliefs, ambitions, who to stay aloof from & with whom you would like to be associated with (not many get that chance in a small town coz you gotta mix with everyone).

Having said this I think I certainly am in a retrospective mode. There are some experiences in life that leave you puzzled as to why it happened, suddenly what went wrong, whose contribution was more, whose fault was it, who’s responsible for the present, why certain things did not happen, etc. May be later one day it will all makes sense as they say ‘Everything happens for a reason & everything happens for good.’ I don’t know how much of it is to be agreed with. Everything happens for a reason – yes, for sure. But does it happen for good? Only He knows… Seldom does he reveal His plans to man.

I think I won’t be wrong if I state that everyone does some retrospection at some point of time, though majority brush it aside thinking it’s just whiling away time or to put it more agreeable words ‘living in the past.’ But hey, do you know how many people tend to live burdened with their pasts & that this has got nothing to do be with one’s achievements in their own might? Came across this nice photo placard on a social networking site:

Forgive yourself. Don't become hostage to your past.

With this I shall take your leave for today & as someone so beautifully signs off…

Until next time!
– Torque.Earnest@gmail.com