Look into my Eyes and tell

Look into my eyes; tell me I am a liar
Test my character; tell me I am a cheater
Fiddle around with verity; tell me I am a player
Try my patience; tell me I am rash
Peep into my heart; tell me I am happy
Look for a true companion; tell me I am not one
Fall in bad times; don’t you see me around?
Put your ego aside; am I not down to the ground?
Seek my love, is it too remote to find?
Why not try again; but you seem to mind!
It’s not you I know; and it isn’t somebody else that knows.

Ask for a link; you’ll find many
Look for a chance; you’ll get many
It’s only the will it takes, not an ounce of money
Look into my eyes; tell me I am a liar
Ask your conscience; tell me if it’s true
You never loved me, did you really do?

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I didn’t Know what I Put at Stake

I can't make people Value me. All I can do is show them Who I am, what I Feel. It's up to them to realise my Worth.
I was losing myself; didn’t care about what I put at stake
I was being pushed deep down the dirty drain with false allegations & hurtful blames
I struggled hard to satisfy them; gave away everything I had
I tried my best to deny the complaints but only to have them amplified

I got up after every hard blow but the blows became harder to bear
I wound myself in a lonely shell, but only to be knocked down with a brutal tear
I was numb with their despicable outrage
They say with time everything wears out
But the only thing that went by was my age

They doubted my sanity, convinced my love I was mentally ill
My heart bled; I was a post graduate with subjects failed in nil
I was losing myself but had a strong hope that truth will prevail
I turned weak & didn’t realise I stooped too much instead of bend
I was losing my worth & love for self
Am I really abnormal & so bad? – were the only questions I ever had
I was losing myself; didn’t realise what I put at stake

I was made to fast & wear some stones
To put some sanity & purity in my soul
I did it all to convince my love
I was there & waiting just for you
Please be back & trust me soon
It’s hurting me no end; don’t you believe me or have I lost again?
I kept waiting for the call to get answered
Why didn’t you pick up & end the mystery?
Was I so threatening or you wanted to see me in misery?

I am losing myself, waiting only for the hope
Only to realise the months flew by with darkness to grope
Where are you, why did you leave me?
They said, “Come on son! Chuck her; treat her with your silence & be happy!”
They screamed & hurled bad words in his absence
There was no means to hold his hand & get in touch, other than just pray
But I had faith & a strong hope that our love will definitely pay

My sanity was questioned time & again; I didn’t know what I put at stake
It was the end of a year & was yet to hear from my dear
Hope was wearing away, leaving deep scars on my thin protective shell
I was sinking but still kept trying to prove myself
Then I learnt I had nothing to wait for, there was no one coming to take me
I now realised what I had lost & how much I put at stake

I discarded my worth & pushed respect out of my soul
Only for a promise that he had once made
My sanity is doubted till date; I still don’t know what they thought I would partake…

There’s a Void

lonely girl, sad love, separation quote

There’s a void, an emptiness
Wondering what went wrong when there was so much happiness…

Hope seems to be laughing at me
As if it knew what the result would be…

Time flew as it does
Now there’s no turning back as I blush
There’s a shame more than pain
Coz I pushed myself & gave a lot
But all in vain, all in vain…

The wait was long & painfully so
Will it happen or will it not?
Will he come or will he not?
Does he miss me or does he not?
No answers, but only hope to sow…

Tears washed away the fears
Strength regained by meeting peers
Work gave a renowned assurance
Money built up my distorted cheer…

It is finally the end, with lack of speculation & trend
May God bless us in this sensitive spell
As it may break the belief in love
After all, what’s left when the ego gains
And the poor heart is left to drain…

Nothing is unexpected or new
A known process of reverse bloom
Yet now there’s an emptiness
Wondering what went wrong when there was so much happiness…

I am a Bad Girl

I am not a nice woman, only few like me
because I think it’s not necessary to be liked
After all, how does it matter if people like you or not?

I am mysterious, not easily approachable
People are wary and fear coming near
They think I am hard to get, but I feel
how does it matter even if I am an easy target?

I am branded as a girl with her head high
Can’t mess with her, she has her temper high!
Well, would you respect me more and guarantee you would not cross the line?
I am not a nice girl because I am bothered to keep my image fine

I am not casual, take things seriously – thus I stay aloof
You misunderstand this and tag me haughty – are you not a fool!
You don’t invite me to parties coz you know I don’t gossip
Well, isn’t that what you thrive on! You social goon.

You are anyway going to use your efforts
to come near and discover my methods
I have a way with words they say, but
does it even matter to me that I should care?

Don’t poke me, I like to mind my own business
Dare you touch, I’ll be no less than a tigress
Yes, wounded I am coz I trusted before…
Now am alone and much better off therefore

I am born a girl and brought up as a lady
I can become a man and fend too, if need be
I do have a heart inside my tough wall
No one understands and that’s why I fall

Why come near me when you know I am bad?
Deep down you know you want to raise your own bar…
Then why after knowing me enough you leave a scar?!

I don’t want to be left alone but neither can I seek attention…
I have my pride & a fair share of ego with apprehension
What if you turn back & call me a beggar?
What if you say, just go back & call me never?

I am a bad woman coz I respect myself
I have a fragile heart & I protect it by all self
Sad thing is that you’ve made your mind…
That I am a bad woman & not your kind…

Sometimes you just have to Give up

sad woman in black-and-white
Sometimes you just have to give up…
You can’t keep tolerating being taken undue advantage of
You can’t keep taking shit for something you don’t deserve
You have to call it quits when someone repeatedly strips you off your dignity in front of others
You need to say No to abuse when the person doesn’t realise his words tear you apart
Sometimes you just need to give up…

I am not God, neither am I so strong to bear the insults time and again
It hurts, r e a l bad when you don’t take me with you, when you just abandon me
It hurts when you stop communicating, it hurts when you party without me
It tears me apart when you don’t care, I cry & cry no end till my eyes hurt
I am not a God but a miserable wife in love…

I can understand you don’t miss me, but I can’t understand why you married me
I know you don’t want me, but I don’t understand why you married me
I can feel your hatred and dislike, and that I don’t even deserve to know why
Sometimes you just have to give up…

I feel shattered and totally tattered in my new saree
No happiness no peace because of the harrowing emptiness
All my sacrifices going down the drain
How I wish it all went away with the rain…

I am not a manipulative liar, nor am I after your money
Just a crazy wife in love who kept waiting to be taken along
I never wanted you to be trouble, patiently prayed for a good job opportunity
I was ready to wait, didn’t know it would be for eternity…

Sometimes you just have to give up, BUT
I never thought you would be the one to give up…

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