Looking for my Worth on the Highway

Trakiya highway in Bulgaria
Sitting at the window sill overlooking the NH4 highway… There’s a road that joins the two important cities. I wonder if there’s any path that joins two hearts. Two stranded hearts one of which is sinking with no hope and the other misguided with… It is a difficult phase that tears you apart when you are helpless and know there’s nothing to look forward to. The failure of a pure love and a trust that comes with a bond. Depression and nothing else becomes your companion.

The feeling of morose is so overwhelming that you turn blind towards your achievements and forget the worth you have. No amount of consoling words help you when someone repeatedly betrays your trust and punishes you for sins you don’t even know you have committed. The achievements and accolades of years fade in front of the grief of being abandoned. I like my solitude but feel lonely. I followed my principles and many a times bent too to save the disaster. Isn’t it heart wrenching when people don’t understand the difference between ego and self respect?

The number of males is more in my country than females. I also know that there fewer men who stand up for themselves if not for the right. I wish I too had a support when injustice had captured me in those four walls. I kept waiting for him to come and there wasn’t even a phone call. I kept my faith. A firm belief that he hadn’t earned. May be that’s where I was wrong but am happy I fulfilled my part of the promise. I never went out of communication. I tried and kept trying but as they say poison is stronger than any emotional string… The path between the two hearts were broken and poisoned beyond measure.

The highway is always busy but the two ends remain the same. The two cities that it connects are there to complete the journey. But I am lost and wish no one loses their path that connects their heart to that one person for whom you can sacrifice anything. Let me get up and find my worth. It has lost somewhere on the highway. An accident that cannot repair the damage it caused.

There’s a Void

lonely girl, sad love, separation quote

There’s a void, an emptiness
Wondering what went wrong when there was so much happiness…

Hope seems to be laughing at me
As if it knew what the result would be…

Time flew as it does
Now there’s no turning back as I blush
There’s a shame more than pain
Coz I pushed myself & gave a lot
But all in vain, all in vain…

The wait was long & painfully so
Will it happen or will it not?
Will he come or will he not?
Does he miss me or does he not?
No answers, but only hope to sow…

Tears washed away the fears
Strength regained by meeting peers
Work gave a renowned assurance
Money built up my distorted cheer…

It is finally the end, with lack of speculation & trend
May God bless us in this sensitive spell
As it may break the belief in love
After all, what’s left when the ego gains
And the poor heart is left to drain…

Nothing is unexpected or new
A known process of reverse bloom
Yet now there’s an emptiness
Wondering what went wrong when there was so much happiness…

A Blind Woman Pleads to Jealous People

A sad blindfolded woman pleading jealous people not to hurt

Art courtesy: Erik Brede

​Don’t call me names, just coz you know my strengths
I am a human with a heart that I fiercely guard, coz I know your foul games

I fight for dignity, but sometimes fall short of strength
You have no right to abuse me, coz u think weak people don’t deserve the same

I come back thinking each time I won’t be hit again, yet very painfully it happens again
Wish people knew I was blind in love & not with my so called strength

A smile is the cost I pay to avoid questions coming my way,
So let me be coz you would never know the grief I am hiding away…

ekta bouer moner koshto

shakha pola lohar aamar shouk galo mitey… thakurer paye chhadlam shidoor aamar kopal diye…

maatha aamar uchu chaai, mon bhore bhalo basha… duto bhaat aadorer, aar ekta basha… chaai na poisha kodi, kintu chaai shanti… bhoroshaye boshe ghor, nahole borbadi…

bhalo beshechi okey kintu obhimaan aamaro aachhe… chhi! nongra kotha bodo gaye lage… mero na aamaye khoob betha hoye… baddho kore aamaye shore jete… bhoye kore na tomar je pachhe chole jaye…?

thakurer ee to mon chhilo, aar chhilo tomaro… niye gele biye kore ato door eshe, kintu chao ni aamake nijer shathe rakhte… rekhe dile door ek konaye kaar shathe… je dilo na bhalo basha chheler bou bole…

aami to bhebechilam hobe Maa-Babar moton… kintu mithhe kotha bole korlo aamar maatha noto… aashi ni aami galagaal khete… aar aashi ni aami maar khete…

atto shomman er chahida aamar achhe, dite parbe sheta tai dekha dilo… Mey hoye jonmechhi, chhele hobar dorkar neyi… aamake manusher moton dekho, nongra jontur moton noyi…